Goodbyes

The last few days have been incredibly strange. It has seriously been a roller coaster of emotions.

There has been a lot to do and a lot to think about.

But mostly I think about two things. Leaving China and Going Home.

These are some of the things that I'm going to miss:

• Da Fu Yen. 
• Motor Taxi Rides
• Feeling like a celebrity
• The little noodle shops
• 3 Dollar hair-washes
• Oolang Smoothies
• Madeli Bakery
• The cheapness of everything
• Sky train rides
• Playing charades with everyone
• Eating peanut butter with everything
• Having so much time to do whatever the heck I want
• Waking up to Chinese children's music everyday. "Wo shi baba, wo shi hua shu!!!"
• Listening to the children sing their national anthem. It really is just adorable.
• Being able to say whatever I want, wherever I want, because no one understands what I'm saying.
• Kelly. I know she isn't a thing, but I will miss her.

Leaving China is a tender topic for me at the moment. I just recently said goodbye to 50 children. 50 children who have literally changed my life. I could easily tell you about each one of them, who their friends are, what their favorite color is, what they like to do, how they think, and how much I absolutely adore them. Saying goodbye to them was literally the hardest thing I've had to do in a while.

Little tender moment's throughout the whole week have cause me to let the tears come streaming down.

The moment that I told you about earlier, with precious little Oscar.
Then there is the time when we were all standing behind our classes during opening and I look over and see
 Megan just break down. A lot of the children noticed and I could just see the concern on their faces. Concern that only comes from love. The children really do love us. That made me shed a few tears.
Another time was when I went to Owen's house for a home visit. I walked into their tiny little apartment and I was immediately humbled. It was not what most people picture as an ideal home. It was tiny. It was cold. It was cluttered. It was falling apart. But it was happy. I could feel the love that Owen's parents had for him. All they want is to give that little boy a good life. They explained to us that they have seen a big change in Owen since the beginning of this semester. They said that Owen has been very sad because he knows we are leaving and he doesn't want us to go. He loves us because we play with him. Such a simple thing, but they said that it is because we have taken the time to play with him that he has become more confident and outgoing. They couldn't stop thanking us. I am so grateful that I have been able to be a part in changing a child's life.
The next time was yesterday when Vivian was sitting on my lap. She put a sticker on my hand, like she always does. She laughed her little scrunchy faced laugh and I realized that I only have so many more chances to hear her laugh. I kind of lost it then. I held her and cried a good cry. She let me just hug her for a while and then she looked at me and said, "Teacha Kambrie, No!" as if she was the mature one telling me to suck it up and take it like a man. hahaha. I love her so much.
Yesterday when Andrea, Kenna, and Megan left for Thailand. We were at the bottom of the stairs next to our kids classrooms. The girls had some last minute Taobao stuff come in and so we were hurrying to shove them into their suitcases so we could run to their bus! As we were stuffing, we saw about 20 little head's pop out of the door. "Teacha! Teacha! I love you. Don't leave. I miss you!" We waved at them and told them we loved them! We were in a hurry so we didn't think we should start another hug fest. However, before we new it, ALL of the students come charging after us. They attack us with hugs and kisses and "I love you's." Some of them were literally sobbing because they really didn't want us to leave. They understand that they will never see us again. Anyway, they wanted to help us. All of them shoved us aside and grabbed a suitcase.  We would try to help them and they would just say, "Teacha, you no help me. I help you." They are such good little kids. They walked us all the way to the gate and wished us on our ways. It was absolutely adorable.
Today Jerry, precious little no-teethed Jerry, just melted my heart. Time after time. He would come up to me and give me the best hugs, grab my face and look into my eyes and say, "Teacha Kambrie I love you." He would just hold my face and smile his innocent, kind smile. "I will miss you Teacha." Love him.
The students surprised us today by bringing us cake and teats. A lot of them drew us pictures or wrote their phone numbers for us. "Teacha, this is my mommies number. This is my daddies number. I want you're number. I call you tomorrow!" So now I have a stack of pictures, and phone numbers to take home with me!
Then came the time when I had my last homeroom class. This was killer. With all of my little blue class sitting around me, we just had so much fun! I took pictures of them being their silly little chinese selves, and then I took a video of them saying hello to my family! And then I started counting their tokens. "1, 2(sniff, sniff), 3(sniff), 4...." I just couldn't take it. Tears came streaming out and I just looked at them and wanted so badly for them to be able to just feel my love for them. They all got up and came and gave me a huge group hug. They would rub my face and try to wipe away my tears. They would turn my head so they could look at my eyes and give me a "Happy Face!". They would pat my shoulders. And they would tell me they will miss me, and that they love me. I'm telling you. Nothing feels better than feeling loved my children. NOTHING. It is so great.
Lastly, the actual moment when I literally had to walk away and leave them. They were all getting settled into their beds to take their afternoon naps. I opened the door. As soon as I did they all stood up on their beds and started SCREAMING, "TEACHA I LOVE YOU! GOODBYE! I MISS YOU!" It was so powerful. I just waved at them and blew them thousands of kisses. And then I left. I shut the door and walked away. Up the stairs. To my room. Shut the door. The tears came again. For a long time I just sat there and cried. Until I was all out of tears to cry.

I just wish I could take a piece of what I'm feeling in my heart and post it on this blog for you all to feel. I wish I could take a little piece of each on of the children's hearts so you could know them, and how good they are.

I love them so much. I miss them already.

Good thing in five days I will be seeing some people that I have been missing for four months.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY FAMILY!

Tomorrow is Hong Kong. I have four days there with my Aunt and Uncle. I am so excited to see them and be able to spend some time with them. And then, it is homeward bound for me.

Hello Family. Hello Christmas. Hello bed. Hello food. Hello P90X....haha

I WILL BE SEEING YOU SOON!

Peace out China.

-Teacher Kambrie.